


Group Therapy // Larry Stylinson AU

by larrymedicine



Category: Harry Styles - Fandom, Larry Stylinson - Fandom, Louis Tomlinson - Fandom, Louis and Harry - Fandom, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Relationship, Cheating, Death, Depression, Falling In Love, Gay, Group Therapy, Harry is stuck in an abusive relationship, Jealousy, Louis and Harry - Freeform, Louis and Harry are both depressed - Freeform, Louis is stuck in a straight relationship, Louis won’t admit he’s gay - Freeform, M/M, Manipulation, Self-Harm, Therpay, closeting, greif, soul mates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-22
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2019-06-22 15:39:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15585135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larrymedicine/pseuds/larrymedicine
Summary: Louis is unhappily married to a woman who he has a child with, his mother recently passed away and is dealing with extreme guilt for not living as his authentic self and forcing himself into the closet, he regrets never telling his mother the truth and is questioning everything. Losing his mother has broke him, and his wife advises him to go to group therapy to help ease the pain and listen to other people's stories.Harry is engaged to a man who has mentally abused and manipulated him ever since they tied the knot, but he can't seem to find a way out and he fears if he is to end things, his dreadful fiance will kill himself, as he's threatened several times. Harry's sister, totally unaware of Harry's abusive partner, as they both play up the happiness in their relationship to others and he constantly threatens Harry if he tells anyone, has advised him to go to group therapy as she can sense he's been rather depressed ever since they got engaged.Or where Louis and Harry are both dealing with relationship and mental health problems and people close to them advise them to go to group therapy, where they meet and are instantly drawn to one another.





	1. Grief

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!! This is my first work on ao3, I previously wrote on wattpad, but the content on here is much more mature and I prefer it. Hope you enjoy and let me know your opinion in the comments!

It has been exactly a week since Louis' mother passed away. The days felt extremely slow and absolutely nothing seemed to entertain or distract his mind for even a split second. Even his dreams were full of his mother and he liked to think it was her, in a way, visiting him. He had contemplated everything about afterlife and whether or not it's real. Until losing his mother he had not believed there was anything after this dreadful life, but now he wishes there is. Which just makes Louis think maybe we as humans have created heaven to put ourselves at ease when losing a loved one. Louis' mind was racing through memories with his mother and how ill she looked her last week of life, as another tear fell out of his red eyes. He has been crying all night, not able to get a blink of sleep after waking up from a nightmare. He shut his eyes as he continued to quietly sob, making sure not to wake his wife laying beside him. The thought of his wife led him to cry harder, he never got the chance to tell his mom the truth. The truth he's been hiding from himself as well, but he promised himself he would finally admit out loud that he has been closeting himself as a gay man for basically his entire life to his mother. He just never found himself able to do it, every time he began he would choke up and just stare at his ill mother with tear brimmed eyes. He has never said it out loud to himself, let alone fully accepted it. For crying out loud, he has a wife and child in attempt to convince himself he's straight.

He suddenly feels a soft and comforting hand touch his bare shoulder, causing the hair on his entire body to stand up. He keeps his eyes closed, convincing himself he was just delusional and tired. There was no way his mother's presence was with him, he told himself there had to be some type of psychological meaning behind this. Besides the mental conflict, he mutters a weak "I'm sorry, I wish I told you, I love you," he keeps his eyes closed as the sensation on his shoulder begins to dissolve and he begins to envision a beautiful daffodil sprouting from the ground up and slowly drifts back to sleep with tear stained cheeks.

Louis awoke suddenly as his wife, Layla, was shouting from their kitchen downstairs for him to get up for breakfast. It is Sunday morning and Layla is downstairs preparing eggs and avocado toast for the both of them.

Before Louis got the chance to drag himself down the stairs, he looks at himself in his mirror and sighs heavily, reminiscing about last night. He shook his head, reminding himself he was just delusional, but a tiny part of him wanted to believe it was his mother. He continues looking deep into the eyes of the messy haired man staring back at him. Under his eyes are dark circles, his eyes still red from constantly crying, and he just lets out a deep breath in complete sadness. He hates himself and how he looks, he doesn't even want to smell himself. The past week he's been stuck in his bed, unable to convince himself to shower.

Louis begins to wonder how in the hell did he end up here, if only he had accepted the fact he was gay years ago, he wouldn't be standing here married to a woman he doesn't love and sharing a child with her. Louis wished he could live life as his true self, in a relationship with a man and finding his purpose. He had never been with a man, Layla was his high school sweetheart and he clung to her in attempt to stop the gay rumors and eventually just stuck with it, accepting he would never admit to being a gay man. Layla had always questioned if Louis truly loved him, as he was rarely in the mood to please her, considering he didn't enjoy it, he avoided it all costs. Louis isn't the only conflicted one, Layla often feels as though Louis is unhappy with her, she just doesn't know why. 

Louis contemplates showering, but decides against it, not wanting to make Layla wait any longer. "Good Morning," Louis sighs as he slowly walks down the stairs, eyelids still heavy and begging to be shut. 

"Good Morning babe," Layla greets Louis with a peck on his lips. "I'm finishing up the eggs, but your avocado toast is on the table.” she walks back to the stove top and flips the eggs. Louis eagerly walks to the table, nearly drooling at the sight of two toasted pieces of bread with avocado spread across both. He closes his eyes, taking a huge bite of the toast and enjoying every moment of it. He looks over at his son, Elijah, who is eating a cup of cheerios in silence. Most two year old kids are full of energy, but Louis' son was very reserved, which he prefers. As depressing as it seems, he doesn't really connect with his son, nor does he feel a strong sense of love for him. In a weird way, the child just doesn't feel like a part of him. Nothing feels like him, he's living a complete lie to protect himself from the truth, but is hurting people in the process. 

Nothing can ever be seen in a positive light with the mind of Louis Tomlinson, and it only made matters worse losing his mother. He had always been prone to depression, he's had it for most of his life. He developed it in middle school when people began to constantly accuse him of being gay, and it only got worse in high school, his town wasn't very accepting and he hadn't even done anything, it was purely based on his personality and fashion choices. In high school, dating Layla became a scapegoat for the antagonizing over his sexuality, but it only made matters worse for his mental state. Forcing himself into a straight relationship in hopes to outgrow or get rid of homosexual feelings for other boys didn't work out like he intended. He was in too deep, he just went along with everything, too afraid to accept the fact he's not straight, he ended up proposing to Layla after 5 years together purely because she kept mentioning it. He had never fallen in love, he had never loved anyone besides his family. Layla was there to fill a void and expectation for Louis, nothing more. 

Layla interrupts Louis' depressing thoughts, "Lou, I know how upset you've been since Jay passed." Louis darts his head in her direction, pulling him out of the trance he was in. "And I was talking to all my girl friends about how I'm worried about you, and they told me to recommend you to go see a grief therapist," she continues. Louis could've laughed in her face, but he doesn't have the energy to nor does he want to hurt her feelings. There is absolutely no way he was going to a therapist. The last time he went, he was in middle school, and all he could focus on was how hot his young therapist was. Considering how young he was, he was also inexperienced and just sucked at his job. Therapists were a waste of money, they never once helped Louis and he never found himself able to tell them how he truly felt. 

"No thanks, I'd rather not." Louis replies, forcing a fake smile then taking another bite out of his toast. Their son began to cry causing them both to turn towards him to see he is banging his cup against the table, hinting that he wants more cheerios. Louis watches as Layla pours more cheerios into his cup, and he smiles sweetly up at his mother, attempting to say thank you in his high pitched voice. Once she was done fulfilling Elijah's needs, she looks back at Louis and sighs deeply.

"You should really take this seriously, I think talking to someone could really help,” she suggests, but Louis just continues to shake his head in disagreement. She walks back to her seat next to Louis' and continues eating her eggs and toast.

"I've held in my emotions for my whole life, what's it matter now?" Louis mutters, so quietly, Layla could barely catch what he said. But she did, earning a worried look from her, which Louis just ignored. 

"It's no good to shelter your emotions, it'll just build up, like I'm sure they are, and it will completely drain you," Layla advises and Louis admits to himself that she does have a point. She is right, but he also knows she has no idea what he is sheltering and that it would break her if she found out. "I think you should see a therapist, or at least go to a group therapy, hear other people's stories and understand that you're not alone and you can make it through this pain."

Louis still shakes his head, refusing to go to some stupid group therapy and hear people complain about their lives. He has enough to worry about, from the well being of his child to his work to keeping himself sane, which he is clearly failing at. 

"I hate seeing you so upset, I'm used to your swings of depression, but I've never seen you this bad. Please, just go to one meeting and see how you like it, I'll never bring it up again if you hate it," Layla pleads. Louis bites his bottom lip in thought, debating whether he should just go to one to shut her up about it and never go again. He looks up from his empty plate where food once was and met Layla's pleading eyes. He lets out a deep breath, stretching his neck out as it ached from his sleeping position. 

"Fine, one stupid group therapy and I'm never going again," Louis agrees, causing Layla to smile in pure happiness. She wants the absolute best for him, and hopes he changes his mind after going through one meeting. She silently wishes to herself that he would secretly enjoy it and agree to continue going, she just wants Louis to find happiness even in his darkest times.

 


	2. Depression

Harry is spending his Sunday morning with both Carter's and his own family at the house they bought together. They are celebrating their recent engagement and invited all their family and close friends over. Carter, who is fairly older than Harry, was the one to propose. While on a dinner date celebrating three long years together, Carter got down on one knee. Carter, being in his early thirties is very ready to get married and start a family with Harry, whereas Harry who is only 23 is very nervous to tie the knot, but is undoubtedly in love with Carter. A little time before the proposal, Carter's sister got sick, which put an immense amount of stress on him. Carter has never been quite well at controlling his anger, and when Harry pulls dumb 23 year old things, it causes him to lash out. The more months that pass, the sicker his sister is becoming, and the more Carter fears she's going to die. Harry's love for Carter is the only thing holding him back from calling their relationship off, or at least that what he tries to convince himself. Harry won't admit to even himself that Carter has become increasingly toxic and further away from the man he fell in love with. He also won't acknowledge that when they get into fights, Carter insists that if he is to leave him, he will kill himself from the pain of losing both his sister and fiance. Harry doesn't understand how he got into this mess, he has confronted Carter multiple times that he shouldn't resort to anger because of his sister's illness, but it only causes Carter to become more enraged with Harry. 

Harry is sat outside, a glass of wine in one hand, and Carter's tight grip on his other. Harry observes his red wine, watching the liquid spin as he slowly mixes it, sinking further into his emotions as Carter speaks beside him. Gemma is watching Harry from afar, noticing his rather mellow expression, which instantly worries her. He's celebrating his engagement, he should be thrilled, yet he appears to be the opposite. Harry begins to inspect his rings on his fingers, along with his new engagement ring. He feels the need to occupy himself as he continues to contemplate everything in his life. He's beginning to think he might be depressed, as he feels so isolated with his thoughts and unsatisfied with everything.

"Show my mom your ring, honey," Carter cuts Harry out of his deep thought with his sweet, but rather demanding tone. Harry complies to Carter's request, reaching his hand over the table to display the beautiful diamond ring to his now mother in law. 

"Oh, it is so beautiful!" Carter's mother exclaims, Harry nods in agreement with a bright smile plastered on his face, yet it seemed to be very fabricated. Harry has been faking lots of smiles lately, which has him genuinely worried he's actually fallen into a depression. "Have you started planning the wedding?"

Harry looks over to Carter, waiting for his response. Harry knows damn well they haven't done any planning, but he also knows Carter lies about everything to satisfy the high expectations of his mother. It seems as though all Carter does lately is drink his feelings away, take his anger out on Harry, and go to work. They've had nearly no time for plans, Harry has tried to bring it up, but Carter is never in a good state to converse on serious topics. "Yes! We've been talking over all our ideas," Carter begins and Harry ever so slightly cringes at his lie. He can't stand to hear his empty lies and possibly be brought into the conversation and lie for the sake Carter, which Harry is terrible at. So Harry quietly excusing himself to the bathroom and goes inside the comfort of his home. 

Harry looks over the variety of foods placed on their kitchen table, and decides on dipping a potato chip in some sour cream dip. He continues to eat, finding comfort in the delicious food. A couple minutes later, the back door creaks open and Harry's sister Gemma walks in, leaving Harry no longer alone shamelessly stuffing his face. He smiles at her, mouth full of chips. "Hey," he manages to say. Gemma laughs at her brother's terrible mannerisms, shaking her head in disapproval.

"How you feeling?" Gemma questions, gesturing to the food in his hands. Harry is known for eating his feelings, and Gemma is very aware of this having lived with him while they were growing up.

"I'm fine, why you ask?" Harry lies, he's most definitely not fine and it's becoming more apparent to him everyday. He also knows exactly why she's asking, as she had witnessed him eat six tacos in tears after his high school boyfriend broke up with him, yet he still asks.

"Be real with me, Harold, you seem a little off today, and now I walk in on you stuffing your face," Gemma says, voice full of concern. Harry furrows his eyebrows at her statement, baffled at how Gemma seems to always sense when Harry's out of his element. He stays quiet, nervous to speak up, and instead stuffs his face some more food. Harry realizes he hadn't replied by the expectant look on Gemma's face, still waiting for him to speak up. He shook his head ever so slightly and finally began to explain.

"I-I don't know, I guess I do feel a little off." he began to grow nervous, scared she would catch onto Carter being toxic for him and that he's unhappy in their relationship. Gemma always seemed to catch on to things, she's very in tune with everything surrounding her. Harry doesn't like keeping things from his family, especially Gemma since they're very close, but he finds himself unable to tell anyone about the mess that is him and Carter's relationship. He can barely even admit it to himself, he knows things have changed and that he's having doubts about the marriage, but to label Carter abusive seemed too much to Harry.

"Anything on your mind? You know you can tell me anything, right?" Gemma walked closer to Harry, lowering her voice, in hopes he'd understand no one can hear them or know if he were to tell her. She can see right through the facade he's putting up, he's been getting noticeably more unhappy in the past few months, really ever since he got engaged. Gemma has theorized that he's intimidated by marriage, considering he is 23 and only a year out of college.

Harry bites on his bottom lip, a nervous habit. He once again doesn't respond and seems hesitant to speak up. A lump has formed in his throat, and tears are threatening to spill out of his eyes. He hadn't realized how much confrontation would affect him. He's yet to mention him and Carter's troubles to anyone, in fear it'd come back to him, and Harry would have to pay for hurting Carter's feelings. Carter's already so damaged over his sister, Harry doesn't want to add to his stress or anger him. Breaking up with Carter is in no way an option in Harry's head, as Carter has mentioned several times in their fights that if Harry is to leave, Carter would kill himself. Harry constantly uses the excuse that he's never hit him and that he's just going through a rough time, that he needs to wait this out. Yet everyday, the Carter he fell in love with seems to be farther and farther away. Harry is conflicted, he doesn't know what to do, he fears what would happen if he told anyone or tried to leave.

"Does it have to do with Carter, the fact that you're getting married?" Gemma asks, raising an eyebrow at his nervous demeanor. Harry's eyes go slightly wide, but he attempts to calm himself and not give anything away with the shocked look on his face.

"Uh-" Harry begins, but his throat completely closes off, and he finds himself unable to speak. He's a mess. He just wants to run off to the bathroom and cry his eyes out. He feels like such a baby, he should be able to handle this confrontation, especially since it's his sister.

"Are you scared?" Gemma asks, guiding him to an answer with her questions. Harry quickly nods without thinking, then stops himself. Did he just admit he's scared of Carter, to tell her what's wrong, or of getting married. He doesn't exactly know, but he's scared of all three of those things. "I assumed, marriage can be intimidating, especially since you're so young." 

"Yeh- I guess I'm a little nervous, like this is it for me, I'm fresh out of college and I'm already settling down." Harry clears his throat then begins to speak. Since Gemma had warmed him up, he's feeling a little better about talking about this, even if it's not exactly what he wishes so badly he could admit to her. "Sometimes I wonder, like, if he's truly the one." Harry mutters, barely audible, but Gemma manages to catch it and frowns.

"Don't tie the knot if you're not all in it, I know what you're like, and you would so put yourself in an unhappy relationship in fear of upsetting your partner and you can not do that. I will not allow you." Gemma comforts him, placing her warm hand on his stiff shoulder.

"It's not that I'm unhappy with him," Harry lies. Typically he's a terrible liar, but when he's trying to convince himself the same words, it comes out easier. "It's just I'm nervous for everything, he's very fast pace with our relationship, probably because he's much older and it's his time to start a family and that's what his mother expects out of him, and he is always obeying what his mother wants. I'm just- you know I always question and overthink everything, and I guess I've just dug myself in a hole of worries and doubts." 

"I'm no expert on marriage or relationships in general, I am yet to even find a steady boyfriend, but this seems a little worrying to me. Have you tried talking to Carter about all of this?" Gemma asks, and Harry has to hold himself back from laughing. Of course he hasn't mentioned his doubts of their relationship to Carter, Harry is convinced he'd hit him, he's gotten close to getting physically aggressive, but is yet to hurt Harry in that sense. Harry hopes that day never comes, he's been close, but Harry's begs snap Carter out of his extreme rage every time.

"I'm scared of how he'd react if I admitted something like that to him, he seems into the idea of us being together and getting married, that'd break him if I told him how I feel, he doesn't need all that on top of his sister nearing death." Harry explains, quite truthfully, just leaving out the fact that Carter is emotionally abusive, takes his anger out on him, and that he's unhappy with Carter.

"Well if it's not something you think you can talk to Carter about, you should think about going to a therapist, they'd know what to do, my knowledge in that arena is limited." Gemma sympathetically sighs, sad that she can't offer more advice. Harry contemplates what she just said, remembering how he had gone to a therapist when he was much younger, back when he was coping with suicidal thoughts and depression. His therapist had helped him out a bunch, and Harry begins to reminisce on how good it had felt to just let everything out and not worry about what he's saying, as everything was confidential and he wouldn't be judged. 

"Yeh, I do quite miss being able to vocalize all my thoughts to someone with no worry. I'll definitely look into local therapists and find someone to talk to, it's been a while, and I clearly need some guidance." Harry smiles down at Gemma and then embraces her. "Thank you for talking to me about this, I've been dying to tell someone, and you know I don't have any close friends to talk to. I love you Gem." Harry whispers as they sway back and forth in their tight embrace.

"I love you too, Harry. I knew there was something up, and don't thank me, a sister's gotta check up on her baby brother when she senses something's not right." Gemma responds as they both pull away from their hug. 


End file.
